so live your life (hey eh eh eh)

so first things first, i have two things that i just need to tell you guys 

1. my Kay's Natural giveaway officially ends TONIGHT at 12:00 so for any of you last minute entries, get to it! I'll be announcing the winner tomorrow :) wo0o0o! hope you can still sleep tonight with all the anticipation!
2. just to show ya'll how crunched for time i've been.. yesterday i didn't even have enough time to get changed for yoga between my classes - so i ended up having to do my practice in a sundress... needless to say downward dog would've provided quite the peep show had anyone been watching, but forunately - i was alone in my room

THAT BEING SAID.. all my work is officially done (that is, until finals next week) but papers, projects, speeches, yada yada yada.. donezo! I feel so relieved and great .. especially because now i finally have time to hook ya'll up with a legit post.

So over the past few days, amongst my crazy hectic schedule - i've felt like i was finally able to live a [somewhat] normal life of a 19 year old college student. I ate when i had time to between classes and meetings,  i scarfed down meals when i was short on time rather than eating slowly in attempts to drag out a meal for as long as possible.. yes, i ate - but most importantly this week.. I LIVED.

and in turn, i was able to find the true feeling of the recovery process. My therapist always said "recovery has everything to do with food, and nothing to do with food at the same time" When she told me this, i wasn't able to fully grasp what she meant.. but as i've begun this process i've slowly begun to realize just how little it has with the actual weight gain. Of course, that is a major part of it - but for me, it pales in comparison to the lessons i am learning through the process.

Now, I know numbers tend to be triggering - so I hope this isn't for you - and it shouldn't be, because remember to keep in mind that EVERYONES PROCESS IS DIFFERENT.. everyones bodies need different things.. my weight gain/weight goal may be drastically different than perhaps a 5'2 girl who runs everyday (as i do not) But since i began seeing my nutritionist I have gained about 10 pounds over the course of a about a month. Does 10 pounds scare me? you bet your ass. Does the strength i feel, the confidence i've acquired, and the smiles i see on my parents faces compensate for this? you better believe it. 

Okay - i've gained 10 pounds.. big, freakin', deal. I think why this has scared me so much is because I feel like i am looking at that number through the lens of someone who is already at a healthy weight. If i had reached my goal weight and then from there, gained 10 pounds, maybe that would entail a little bit of worry.. but i have to keep reminding myself that it's 10 pounds closer to where i NEED to be. I am not at a healthy weight - and the only way i can get there is through weight gain.... whether its 2 pounds, 20 pounds, or 200 pounds.. it is not the number that it takes to get there that matters, it is actually getting there that counts. 

Through my weight increase i have found so many changes within myself both mentally and physically. Mentally - I feel a confidence that I haven't felt in so long. I have begun feeling comfortable in my skin. Now i'm not gonna sugar coat the situation and tell you girls that there aren't times when i feel "heavy" or like i "ate too much" but i try to take these moments with a grain of salt - and find contentment in knowing that those feelings will pass. I have found a new love for my limbs.. my legs, my arms, and their ability to carry me through a strenuous yoga practice, or lift a heavy beer crate at the golf course. I have begun to find a beautiful feeling of existence.. as though I am seen and noticed.. People comment, "Jenn i love that shirt!" when in fact.. they've seen me in that shirt many times before. The difference is now i wear that shirt with pride. 

I have also find a beautiful new spontaneity within me. For instance, this morning.. during my "snack time" my friend shannon asked me if i wanted to go on a walk with her. Now, I was "planning" on having a tortilla/pb/banana combo for snack - and normally, i would've declined her invitation so that I could eat my snack, alone. But, without a second thought - i said sure, grabbed the granola bar i was "planning" on eating later.. and everything was fine. I didn't die, the world didn't come to and end. I ate my wrap later and you know that? It tasted just as good at 4:00 than it would've at 11:00.. (i know, shocker... right?) 

Through this process i am slowly but surely finding myself.. a new and improved self, i might add. One who appreciates the people in her life, the world around her, and sees it through a different set of eyes. I find such beauty in the world now and more importantly, i find beauty in myself. I've begun to love and appreciate the simple things about myself.. my long eyelashes, the way my hair looks on one of those all two rare "good hair days" my finger nails when they're freshly manicured. There is so much more to our bodies that simply tummy's, legs, and arms.. our features make us individuals, and they are what makes us beautiful. 

Through this new found respect for myself i've begun working to take care of myself.. yes, in terms of feeding and nourishing my body.. but also just simple girlie things. For instance, now - i just feel GREAT when i shave my legs or pluck my eyebrows (haha oh god i sound like a crazy chick!) but even other things.. like i've begun wearing perfume again (lord knows why i stopped.. i guess i just stopped caring about anything except for my weight?) Point being, i've begun taking pride in who i am again and loving ME.. and wanting to show that to the world. 

Okay, well I suppose i should shut up now before blogger sues me for writing the longest post ever.. but i have just been overwhelmed with so many thoughts these past few days and felt it necessary to share with you girls. 

Please, embrace the gain, embrace the process, and have faith in knowing that it will be worth it in end. 

all my love,

♥Jenny

cheap and chic collegiate

As a struggling college student I definitely understand how tough it is to balance academics, work, friends, oh yeah – and moolah! Between books, food, and all that college apparel we can’t live with out (school spirit certainly doesn’t come cheap these days!) it’s certainly difficult to manage a fabulous and chic wardrobe on a budget. During my first year at school I learned a few tricks of the trade in learning how to dress for less and make the most out your wardrobe.

Lesson number 1: 2 outfits in one.. the skirt disguised as a dress
Lesson number 2: how to take spice up a simple outfit without blowing a ton of money

world record...

...for shortest post, EVER.. i have to leave for school in 5 minutes but i thought todays oats and quotes was extra special and i wanted to share it with you..

"The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm
terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient
reason for remaining ashore."

-- Vincent Van Gogh

though i don't have time to share my two cents I would love to hear what ya'll think about it =) i think it really speaks volumes to recovery and just taking risks in general..

have a great day, girls!

i think i can i think i can..

hey all! happy monday..the last monday of april to be exact (wowza!) and what a beautiful one it is. I totally have no time to chit chat this morning - because its monday.. so you know what that means! appointments up the whazooooo.. then i'm off to my brothers Tennis Match and doing homework until the cows come home.. blahhh. Fortunately, this is my last week of school and i'll be coming home friday - then i'm just going to be commuting the next week for my finasl..ah, i am so excited!

here's a quick dose of the usual...

. daily goods .peach printed scarf with paisy and plaid detail around the corners. I think i may need to take to my therapist about my scarf addiction because it's gettig ridonkulous.. i just can't resist!

☕ monday oats and quotes

"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right."

--Henry Ford

love this.. it definitely alludes to the concept of "the power of positive thinking" in order to accomplish something we have to believe that we can.. it is when we are those little voices in the back of our mind telling us that we can't that leads us to fail.. Be confident in yourself and your abilities. It's easy to "give up" and just tell ourselves that achieving something is just past our limits.. but i've found that when you really push yourself, you'll be surprised at how much you can accomplish. Challenge yourself, challenge that voice inside your head.. you'll feel better for it.

remember: *I think i can I think i can* =)

well, i'm off.. catch ya later!

sunday morning rain is falling...

....NOT! ☀
it is absolutely breathtaking outside, so much so that i am currently sipping on my 2nd (or 3rd.. but who's counting?) cup of french vanilla java outside after a 20 minute morning flow on my back porch.. a perfect morning so far in my opinion.

so can i just tell ya'll that I definitely got a killer workout at the golf course yesterday - i am S-O-R-E but it feels good..i'm gonna look like this before you know it...

anyhoo...I just finished up a delish breakfast and i think it definitely qualifies as "today's tasty treats" material...

full circle organic snickerdoodle oatmeal, 1/2 smashed nana & 1/2 nana slices, raisins, tbsp of teddie's cruncy PB

this oatmeal was incredible! it had a really simple cinnamon/sugar flavor which made it super versatile and perfect for using with different flavors of PB and fruit combos. It almost tasted a little bit like the celestial seasonings sugar cookie tea.. so I know my girl Jaime would LOVE this :)

*sidenote: you may have noticed a straw hanging out in my coffee.. for the past few weeks i've started using one for my java to avoid getting coffee stains on my teeth .. just a little tip i thought i'd share :)*

☕ sunday oats and quotes
What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself.

- Hecato, Greek philosopher

remember the importance of being your own best friend...it is easy to care for others..but first and foremost it is necessary to care for ourselves. Make yourself your first priority - focus on YOU... your health and your well being...that is progress - being able to take care of yourself and realize how precious your life is.

so i don't have much planned here today.. just working on some HW, outside - of course.. and relaxing... maybe laying out for a bit and work on my tan.. who knows! have a good one, ladies! ♥

tiger tiger woods, ya'll

hey there my lovebugs! How gorgeous is this weather?! I hope it's not too good to be true because a girl could get used to this!

Work today was wonderful. I was a little nervous about going back because aside from flirting with old men.. the life of a beverage cart girl also involves carrying heavy beer crates and buckets of ice.. and i was worried i wouldn't be able to handle it (i'm not exactly muscle woman over here) but .. i managed, and not gonna lie .. i'm feeling a little sore - yay for arm workouts and getting paid, killed two birds with one stone, eh?

I also really loved workin today because i felt *normal* and at peace with myself. I felt like i was so distracted that my mind wasn't consumed with thoughts of eating and scheduling.. blah blah blah. I ate when I COULD.. rather than when ED told me I "should" Honestly.. It took me 3 hours just to finish my sandwich because I would only be able to get in a few bites here and there between customers - and I was okay with that. That's whats NORMAL.. eating when we can and not getting anxious when we're not on "schedule" Speaking of eating.. here's the lunchie I packed for myself.. inside my new Vera Bradley lunchbox =)..

turkey, french onion laughing cow and spinach sammie on honey wheat, special K crackers, prunes, Nature's path envirokidz bar, fruitabu strawberry flat, boost.. woo, mouthful!

during my travels on the course I also made a friend...

meet my new pal, darwin

i swear this little guy followed me around all day..
we're officially in love ♥

i also managed to snag some quick pics without getting noticed (i hope?!)
i love the openness of golf courses, so green and free =)
my *special spot* in the woods.. where i eat my lunch and talk on the phone when i'm not supposed to .. woops!

when I got home from work I whipped myself up a quick snack 'cause your girl was starvin' marvin!van's waffle, cinnamon raisin swirl pb, sliced nana, kiwi

today's tasty treatsNature's path envirokidz crispy rice peanut butter bar

I have seen these pups on a couple of your girlies blogs and have been really anxious to try them.. (hello, peanut butter.. 'nough said). The taste? two words.. rice krispie treat.. okay - that's 3 words.. whatever, i'm an English major - never said i was good at math ;) ANYHOO.. this bar really tasted like those good ol' fashion marshmellow squares.. except PEANUT BUTTER FLAVORED which made it 8390850493 million times better! so so so good.

alright well it's yoga time for me.. i'm thinking about doing it outside on the back porch before the sun goes down.. give my neighbors a good laugh.

enjoy your night pum'kins!

fashion tips and trends

As you all know I am a food loving college gal with a [not so secret] love for peanut butter. However, aside from my infatuation with food.. i also have a deep and passionate love for fashion. Here I'll be sharing some tips and tricks of the trade in regards to looking fabulous for less

• 2 outfits in one.. the skirt disguised as a dress
• how to take spice up a simple outfit without blowing a ton of money
• find the right sunglasses for your face
• Ruffles: Do or Don't?
  

"Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the

street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening"

~Coco Chanel

buddha buddha buddha buddha rockin' everywhere

happy friday, pets =) ☀
So I am sorry to say I haven't been the best blogger ever, and my pictures have been scarce. SO I decided since I'm lacking in foodage - I'd make up for it with a little insight I learned in my religious studies class yesterday.

In this class we study all the various world religions.. christianity, hinduism, judaism, etc. I was extremely excited to see that for the last class we'd be going over Buddhism. As a lover of yoga and meditation I've always been really interested in this religion. What stuck out the most to me about this religion is the philosophy of Buddhism which is based around the *Four Noble Truths*

1. Suffering
2. Desire
3. Transcending suffering and desire
4. The buddhist path

To buddhists, suffering is inevitable and a necessary part of human existence. What I found very interesting is that they believe the cause of suffering is desire. A common aspect of human nature is to be satisfied with how things are and constantly working to be in pursuit of something more. This lack of acceptance for the way things are feeling as though life could always be better is what ultimtely leads us to suffer. In this way, Buddhists believe that suffering is self-inflicted and stems from our desires and inability to be content with the way things are. My teacher also discussed the differences between pain and suffering. Pain is a physical state, while suffering is an emotional state that we can control. I found this to be extremely empowering... the belief that we have the ability to control our minds and in turn can control the extent to which we suffer. Buddhists also believe that in order to overcome suffering we must learn how to transcend desire, which can be done by following the "Eightfold Path" which Buddhists describe as the *middle way*. (this concept is very similar to "life in moderation"). They believe that following the Eightfold Path is the only way to achieve wisdom. If we live our lives devoted to pursuing extreme pleasures, or in contrast if we live our lives as submissive and deprive ourselves of all desires.. we will never achieve wisdom. They believe that trying to avoid all pleasures of life is another form of desire to be in control of our bodies (Hello ED!)

Another component of the Buddhist religion is their belief in impermeanace. During his englightenment, Gotama (the founder of Buddhism) came to see the impermanent nature of everything in this world. He believed that everything in this world is temporary and the only thing permanent is change. According to Gotama, life is the temporary coming together of spiritual, physical, and physchocological components that are all constantly changing.

I can't tell you how captivated I was in this discussion. I think the Buddhist philosophy relates to recovery in so many ways. The reason we suffer so much is because of our desire (or ED's desire, rather) to want MORE.. to be skinnier.. to be IN CONTROL. If we didn't allow ourselves to be so consumed in this desire and place so much emphasize on achieving these unrealistic goals - we wouldn't have to endure all of the suffering and misery that we do. This notion of acceptance and coming to terms with our bodies and who we are is the only way that we will be able to avoid suffering. Through letting go of our unrealistic desires to be the "skinniest" to be a size "x" to weigh "x" pounds.. we will be able to let go of suffering in the process. I also think it's really important to remind ourselves of the impermanence of the world. In the depths of our disorders we place so much emphasize on the clothes we fit in to, the food we eat, the way we look.. but as our life progresses all of those things are going to change. Change is inevitable, change is going to happen whether we like it or not - so why not be in control of this change and make it a positive experience? I know in my heart that if i'm not in control of my recovery and the drastic changes I am bound to face .. someone else is going to need to be - simply because I can't live my life at the current state my body is in. At some point, if i don't take the initiative to help myself - someone is going to have to force me in to it.. otherwise the other options are fatal. I don't know about you but I want to be in control of my recovery and the changes I am going to face.

I hope this all makes sense to you - I feel like i ended up just rambling and my professor articulated it a lot better than i could. If anything though I hope you are able to take from this post the fact that we dont have to suffer! If we learn to become at peace with ourselves and our bodies and stop desiring *more* I think we will find how much easier and less stressful life becomes. Embrace change, ladies! its going to happen whether you like it or not.. so why not be in control and allow it to happen in a way that makes us comfortable??

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."

-Buddha

p.s. don't forget to enter my Kay's Natural giveaway!

smells like giveaway time to me!

Helloooooo blogworld! First and foremost I must apologize for my prolonged absence and lack of commenting on my lovelies posts.. please know that i have been reading.. just so overwhelemd with school work. Blah! I suppose the only way to beg for your forgiveness is to GIVE YOU STUFF! (more on that later..)

So as I said a couple days ago I sampled my first product from glorious Kay's Natural package I received. I went for the Jalepeno Honey Mustard pretzel sticks first...

. from the website .

Kay’s is dedicated to bringing a better alternative to traditional snacks and cereals to the health and fitness conscious consumer. Our products are delicious, made with all-natural soy protein and high-fiber. These products can help to sustain energy, manage weight loss, and stabilize blood sugar. They are an option for all ages and lifestyles and for anyone seeking sources of protein in their diets, including people with diabetes, bariatric patients, body builders, vegetarians, the elderly, and children. They are ideal for the office, sports, on the road, and at home.

. nutrition.INGREDIENTS: Soy protein isolate, whole sesame seed kernel (decorticated), tapioca starch, palm oil, corn starch, canola oil, pea fiber, cane juice, natural seasonings (salt, maltodextrin, dextrose, mustard salad [distilled vinegar, water mustard seed, dehydrated jalapeno pepper, natural green bell pepper, salt paprika, tumeric, spices] onion, garlic powder, malic acid), salt, baking powder (leavening agents), & active dry baker's yeast.

definitely a delicious way to get your protein in, no?

. review .
★★★★✩

I was a little hesitant trying this product.. Jalepenos scare me silly - and your girl does not do well with spicy! But, I braved it out - with my Dasani bottle close by in case of an emergency, and nibbled on one of these suckers. Fortunately for me, the honey mustard taste was much more prominent than the jalepeno flavor..which offered a subtle taste of heat in the background. These pretzels weren't overly salty as some tend to be and they were dusted with just the right amount seasoning which made for some lovely finger-lickin' action. These pups were also nice and crunchy, just the way i like 'em! They were smaller in size than normal pretzel sticks but i liked that because there was more of them so I could enjoy 'em longer =) I wouldn't call these snacks "pretzels" as much as they are crackers.. but eh, tomato - tomahto right? whatever you wanna call them they tasted g-double o-d go0o0ood!

so0o0o, now that i've got your mouths watering I bet ya'll wish you could try some for yourselves, right? well.. it's is your lucky day ladies and gents because the generous folks up at Kay's Naturals have decided to hook one of my readers up with an incredible sample package.

the lucky reader will enjoy...
☺3 bags of pretzels sticks
☺3 bags of protein chips
☺3 bags of protein cereal
☺1 bag of white cheddar kruncheeze

and don't worry if lady luck isn't on your side. Kay's natural is offering some unbeatable discounts that you can check out at their page!

*FYI the sample pack which includes all the goodies anyone could dream of is on sale for $7.50 ... seriously can't beat that. *

now that i've got ya'll revved up.. here's how to enter:

1. add my to your blogroll
2. leave me a comment letting me know your favorite snackfood
3. link this giveaway in your post and let me know in your comment that you did so!

no blog? no problem! email me at: peanutbutterandjenny12@yahoo.com

the giveaway will close Thursday, April 30th at 12:00 pm EST and I'll announce the winner Friday =) Good luck all!

fear factor

happy hump day bug-a-boos ☁/☀

we're rockin' mostly cloudy skies up here in SHUville but it looks like my shining friend is fixin' to come out and play later in the afternoon - so I am looking forward to that =)

Unfortunately, I have to register for classes in about 10 minutes.. but while I wait I decidd to just hit you up with some [ oats and quotes ] to get you through the day..

☕ wednesday oats and quotes

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong"

- Joseph Chilton Pearce

Through my disorder I have become a girl constantly immersed in fear.. fear of calories, fear of not exercising, fear of going out and not know what foods are going to be available.. fear of the most obvious, uncontrollable weight gain... My life has become one giant horror movie where i've become too scared to go take risks. Through doing this, I have lost my creativity, my "spunk" my zest for life... and as I delve deeper in to recovery I am rediscovering just how special those traits are. It's important to remind yourself that no one lives a perfect life.. everyone does things "wrong" - its how we learn from these things and recover from them that truly matters. Right now, I am happy to say.. though I'm still fearful - i'm more so fearful of this disease.. fearful of jeopardizing my health... fear of jeopardizing my future.. and it is that fear that is pushing me to move forward and closer to the creative life that I was intended to live.

what are you scared of? (it doesn't have to be ED related) do you feel like this holds you back in any way?

oh yes, and Happy Earth day!

Okay, welp - that's all I've got for today. Jenny-boo is busy busy.. so busy in fact that I don't have time to finish this sente....

you can stand under my umbrella, ella ella

happy thursday babes ☂

I sure hate to use that umbrella symbol two days in a row ... but, trusty old weather.com tells me I have temps in the 80's to look forward to this weekend.. so I suppose i'm willing to put up with a little rainage for now..

My appointments yesterday went well.. not as draining as last week, luckily! As far as the nutritionist goes, not much as changed - she just added another juice box to my MP .. no big. I'm still in my second weight zone, BUT my body fat % went up about .5%.. i know i know, it's not much - but slow and steady wins the race, right?

We also discussed my results of my bone density scan.. and low and behold I do have mild osteopenia. (probably butchered the spelling of that - but you catch my drift). Fortunately, she assured me that woman don't reach their peak bone density until about 30 so I have plenty o' time to correct this problem. We discussed a little bit how to tackle the issue now and she decided to add a powdered calcium supplement (to drink with water, tea, juice) and also once I get back from school she recommended I meet with a trainer to work on some weight-bearing exercises to strengthen my limbs. She recommended a fellow named Rob who she said works with people with osteopenia and also said he's pretty easy on the eyes, if you know what i mean ;). I arrived home to find one of my favorite sights sitting on my doorstep..

packages, woOoOoOoOo!

one from Kay's Naturals Inc
the absolutely AMAZINGLY GENEROUS people at Kay's naturals hooked me up with snacks up the whazoo!

. pretzels . golden butter twists, cinnamon toast sticks, jalepeno honey mustard sticks

. cereal .apple cinnamon, french vanilla, honey almond

. protein chips . lemon herb, chili nacho, crispy parmesan

. kruncheeze .white cheddar

Fortunately, I received this package in the knick of time - right before lunch! You know I had to rip open one of these bad boys to eat alongside my sammie

did i say sammie? i meant quesadilla..tuna salad quesadilla that is.. 2oz tuna, raisins, chopped apple, Kay's jalepeno honey mustard pretzel sticks, and prunes

*full review on the pretzels to come later, but FYI.. i loved 'em =)*

my second package was from from Laura at PineappleGurltoo cute! p.s. girl your handwriting is AWESOME
This girl is an absolute saint! how awesome is she spoiling me with all of these goodies?!?! I am beyond grateful girl you truly outdid yourself! I am so lucky to have you in my life, babe, and you are such a gorgeus person - but inside and out. Ya'll definitely hit up her blog STAT.. she is a gem!

☑ tuesday to do
☑ driving back to schoolio
☑ media studies class at 11
☐ homework homework homework
☐ academic writing class at 3:30
☐ homework homework homework
☐ selling raffle tickets for habitat for humanity
☐ homework homework...you get the picture.. blah!

Warning: I have to let ya'll know my sched. is chalk full this week so posting/commenting is going to be sporadic...bare with me until the weekend! Los ciento my loves!

enjoy your day pretties =)

shake ya pom pom

happy monday ladies ☂
It's a rainy one up in good ol' CT.. which seems appropriate for yet another appointment filled monday. Blahhhhhh

for the record.. my blogging OCD has not subsided.. i still have things to do, so expect new things to come!

first things first - a little POM wonderful review.. as promised:

. from the website .

POM Wonderful 100% Pomegranate Juice is the only pomegranate juice backed by $25 million in medical research. Actually, we are the only pomegranate juice backed by any medical research at all.

There has been a lot of talk lately about the role of pomegranates in promoting heart health, prostate health, and proper erectile function. But while these results are promising, keep in mind that all of the research has been done on POM Wonderful 100% Pomegranate Juice. Our juice comes from a unique pomegranate variety (the Wonderful), which is grown in a unique location (California), and which is juiced with proprietary technology (ours!). No other pomegranate juice can claim these distinctions, and no other brand has been clinically tested.

With incredibly high levels of naturally occurring polyphenol antioxidants 1, POM Wonderful Pomegranate Juice helps guard your body against free radicals, nasty little molecules that emerging science shows may be linked to disease. 2 That’s a real super power.

. flavors .

100 % pomegranate, blueberry, cherry, mango, tangerine

. nutrition .



. review .
(1oo % pomegrantage variety)
★★★✩✩
Taste: as a non-juice drinker I was a little hesitant about this product.. when I was a youngin' i was the girl with the milk tickets who bought herself a nice cold carton of "super cow" (anyone remember this?) in the cafeteria rather than sip on a juice box. HOWEVER, this may have been different had I been introduced to POM wonderful! I REALLY loved this drink.. it has a nice little tang to it which was an unexpected, yet delicious surprise. The flavor was a little bold so i ended up pouring it into a glass with ice to cut down on the flavor a little bit - but it was a really nice, refreshing, addition to my breakfast. What brought this guy down in the ratings was the fact that it's a little high in sugar.. so the juice is definitely something I'm going to enjoy in moderation... we don't need Jenny bouncin' off the walls anymore than she already does, right?

. sunday eats .morning snack: stonyfield farm vanilla yogurt, 1/2 chopped apple, mini box of raisins.. a la my food journal (check out this stickahssss from my nutrititionist... wo0o GO ME!)lunch: turkey and american cheese on a honey wheat flatout, salt and vinegar popchips, the rest of my apple, prunes, with a heaping side of religious studies notes
you know i couldn't help myselfafternoon snack: pineapple, smartfood cranberry almond popcorn clusters, almonds
dessert: earth's best banana cereal, boost, and a tbsp of PB2.. chocolate banana and PB has got to be the most magical combination in the world.

☑ monday to do
☐ nutritionist
☐ therapy
☐ errands [tjmaxx & cvs]
☐ cleaning out my car
☐ homework

p.s. i know some of you mentioned not being able to comment on my posts - i'm checking the sitch. out.. but thank you so much for letting me know =)

woody the woodpecker

happy sunday cupcakes ☁
Unfortunately, Motha Natch wasn't so kind today and it's a tad bit gloomy outside.. but that's okay. I definitely got my necessary dosage of some healthy mood boosting rays over the past two days. Today, I'll embrace the clouds, the rain, while Mr. Sun takes a rest - so he can shine even brighter when he comes out again (which hopefully is asap!)

yesterday was beautiful for so many reasons.. i woke up, slowly but surely, to the sound of woody the woodpecker doing WORK on the tree outside my window. This lead me to lay in my bed for almost 10 minutes.. thinking about woodpeckers and what they peck all that wood for. I then decided before I put my coffee on or did ANYTHING i just had to google woodpeckers and see what they're all about. This made me happy.

Now, before ya'll think your girl has fallen off the deep end with this woodpecker jibber jabber, let me explain. Every morning I wake up and it is the same thing.. alarm clock, coffee, yoga, breakfast.. donezo. Though I love my morning routine, it was so great to wake up with something on my mind other than my oats combo or the PB flavors i'm going to put on my english muffin. It was nice to not be consumed with food, routines, rituals.. for once. I felt like this morning my mind was wandering .. though it was about something silly .. it made me feel like Jenny again. Before ED I was such an inquisitve person - so curious about everything in life and open to receive all the information I could get my hands on. My disorder stole that part of me for a long time and led me to be soley consumed with information such as nutrition facts and BMI's.. SNOOZEFEST! Though I know it's strange that woodpeckers were my topic of choice this morning, that's me. I'm a strange mama jama - and i love it.

after researching my feathered friends (which are some EXTREMELY interesting creatures, FYI) I got my coffee, yoga, breakfast.. yada yada yada:

EM, tbsp cinnamon raisin swirl pb, teddie's pb, smooshed nana & slices, prunage.

*now, as I told ya'll before my nutritionist added OJ to my meal plan this past week. Unfortunately, Daddy didn't get the memo and slurped down the last of it before I ate my breakfast.. normally, ED would have a field day with this and tell me "oh, well - guess you can't get those extra calories in [muahaha]" But.. never fear, it was POM wonderful to the rescue!*

*full review to come later today*

I was really proud of myself for silencing ED-weirdo this morning. Sure, It would have been really easy to go without those extra calories today.. and I would have had an extremely valid excuse if anyone questioned me. Now, I'll be honest my reasoning for still having the POM juice wasn't so much because I thought it would make a different with my weight (lets be honest, a glass of OJ is not going to make/break my recovery) but i moreso wanted to make sure I got those cals in just to give ED a little kick where the sun don't shine. I'm trying to move foward as much as possible and with each opportunity I have to challenge the disorder I want to take it. I have felt extremely strong and motivated recently, and I don't want allowing him to win hinder my progress in any way. I think each time we confront our disorders head on it only makes him weaker. I feel like as I continue to beat him down each and every day I am winning.. I am conquering my disease, slowly but surely.. and this makes me happy and I think it may have made my glass of POM taste EXTRA wonderful =)

I also took advantage of the weather today and took a long driveski through town, jason mraz & ray lamontagne CDs in tow, and just drove... with no destination in sight. I am very fortunate to live in such a beautiful area.. I live in the hills (or as we like to call them the "boonies") of CT and the sights are absolutely breathtaking. I felt such an overwhelming sense of peace with myself driving along the winding roads, basking in the natural, untouched beauty around me. It has been so long since i've been able to be alone with myself and feel so at ease. For the first time my mind wasnt racing, I wasn't calculating calories or meal plans, I was living. I was basking in the world around me and indulging in the colors of the world. This little mini-road trip was incredibly spiritual and feel like it really did wonders for my mindset.

alright alright, well i guess after this post I can officially cross "write a novel" off of my list of things I'd like to do before I die.. but thank ya'll for reading.. I know this post is definitely lacking in eats, daily goods, and oats & quotes, so I shall make up for that later today - maybe even with a couple reviews! o0ooh lala ;). Right now I am off to SHU for the day with momma and poppabear because your girl is getting inducted into the honors society. Glad all that hard work paid off.. I was working like a dog these past two semesters! I'll let you know how it goes later! Have a beautiful Sunday babes ♥

...that's all folks!

these shoes rule..

Happy Saturday boobears ☀
Mother nature is straight up spoiling us with all of this gorgeous weather, but you know i'm not complaining! Yesterday was absolutely BEAUTIFUL .. and today is already looking like it may give friday a run for it's money. Dare I say I may whip out the shorts today?!

*So I have to tell you, i get blogger OCD sometimes and decided i felt like changing up the page a bit - nothing too drastic.. just some different header action, hope you like it =)*

. friday recap .

lunch: honey wheat flat out, ham, provolone, apple combo.. Glennys creamy ranch soy crisps, prunes...i planned on trying that Sobe Life water but for some reason I was really just craving some H2O action - but i'm definitely going to give it a whirl today.. review on that latahhh!

afternoon snack: Van's waffle, dark chocolate dreams, smooshed nana, cinnamon brown sugar almonds, fruit flat

*a few of you asked me what brand almonds i eat - and they are the blue diamond brand. I also tried the honey roasted variety and they were AWESOME as well. They have tons of sweet and savory flavors and I definitely recommend them if almonds are your thaaaang*

dinner: frozen thin crust chicken and garlic pizza with pesto.. with a little pretzel flat, CC, and carrot parfait action on the side.

dessert: banana nut vitamuffin and breyer's cheesecake yogurt

. daily goods .
so as ya'll know i love my scarves.. but my second love? shoes! flats in particular. Now, as much as I love 'em - we definitely have a love/hate relationship. I love them, but my feet? not so much! Check out the damage they did to poor mister lefty yesterday.It doesn't help that i tend to buy shoes ..even if they don't have my size.. i'll go as low/high as i need to. Technically, i'm a 8-81/2.. these babies? 7. Hey, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do, right? And i couldn't pass these up - especially because they were only $12 at TJ's!

I decided saturdays oats and quotes aren't going to be very inspirational - but definitely appropriate for this gorg. weather.. a little tune from TV's favorite family...

♬ I think I'll go for a walk outside now,
the summer sun's calling my name,
I hear you now.
I just can't stay inside all day..gotta get out,
get me some of those rays!
Everybody's smiling, sunshine day...
everybody's laughing, sunshine day..
.everybody seems so happy today,
its a sunshine day! ♬

ahh that movie was one of my favorites - but i definitely preferred the show. Greg Brady was pretty easy on the eyes, if you catch my drift ;)

the darling Jemima gave me a beautiful award (which she created herself, how creative is she!?!?) Thank you so much girl - i am so appreciative of your kind words and endless support..It means more than you will ever know.

have a beautiful, sun-filled day babes!