Good morning to you, beauties!
This morning I've decided to take the boring route in my blog and address something that's been on my mind for a few days now.. so I hope you don't mind a little snoozefest post action.
the lovely Casaundra pointed out to be the other day that I never talk about my nutritionist appointments or physical progress in recovery and though I have been subconsciously doing this after a little self reflection i've realized there's a method to my madness.
This morning I've decided to take the boring route in my blog and address something that's been on my mind for a few days now.. so I hope you don't mind a little snoozefest post action.
the lovely Casaundra pointed out to be the other day that I never talk about my nutritionist appointments or physical progress in recovery and though I have been subconsciously doing this after a little self reflection i've realized there's a method to my madness.
You may have noticed in my beginning stages of my recovery I was fairly honest and open about my weight and body fat percentage gains. As I've continued the process I've realized that recovery truly is about so much more than weight. I've had weeks where I've gained, weeks where I've maintained, and unfortunately, weeks when I've lost. My body has been going through vast transformations and has reacted differently at different times. Though this may be cowardly of me I was apprehensive to share the information of my weight plateauing or dropping on the blog soley because I didn't want anyone to feel as though "Jenny's not trying as hard" "she's relapsing". Had I felt as though I genuinely was losing the fight and couldn't push forward any more you bet your bottom dollar I would have blogged about it in seek of your fabulous ladies' suport! But, I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that during my journey i have remained optimistic and determined and feel as though I've uncovered the true meaning of recovery. Sure, gaining the weight is important to my physical health, but i feel as though the zest for life that i have obtained is equally if not more important to my mental health, and that is what I share with you. I would hate for you girls to read about my "2lb weight gains" or ".5lb loses" and think.. "oh, Jenny gained 2 lbs this week, she's recovering well!" or "she lost .5lb, she's really failing!" more so - I wish to share with you the happiness I've acquired through this process and let that be the reflection of my growth and progress. I want to show you that recovery is a POSITIVE thing -- and that I couldn't be more content or at peace with where I am...and you can achieve this as well!
I hope this makes sense -- it's not even 10am and i feel i've utilized more brain power writing this than i have all summer, so pardon my rambling or possible grammatical errors.
Well, I am off to work. After yesterday I'm praying I make a little more moolah. Mother Natch struck in all her wrathful glory but rather than sending me home and saving herself some dough, my boss decided to keep me there in case the weather cleared up. So, basically I got paid for sitting in the bar for two hours, bummer..
catch ya l8ter, homies! ;)
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44 comments:
hi beautiful,
i LOVE what you wrote! truely inspirational and beautifully true words darlin!! recovery is SO much more than weight gain. I mean of course there is that physical aspect of recovery we cannot ignore, but thats all it is...the pysical aspect...we have to undo the damage weve done to our bodies and in doing that we NEED to change our mindset and thoughts/beliefs. To me recovery is about gaining a new outlook on life..one that doesnt revolve around unheathy comping mechanisms and ways to distract ourselves through food/excersise/weight obesessions. Life is about living and to me recovery is about relearning how to do that ina way that makes each of us happy and healthy....each of our journey is different and its certainly so much more mental that physical! youve come so so far and im so incredibly proud of you! i see your progress in your posts and it makes me smile so much :) your an inspiration to so many of your readers, so keep up that wonderful outlook and optimistic approach :)
have a great day babydoll,
love you tons
xxxx
beautiful words, and they are so TRUE! i had noticed this as well, but i agree that recovery is about moving away from that obsession with numbers and instead towards living a real life. recovery doesn't end simply because you reach a certain weight, try a certain food, or face a certain fear. you continue to demonstrate that, and the positivity and zest for life you have and continue to gain is what makes you so inspiring!
Great post, Jenny. So proud of you and all the progress you've made. You are such an inspiration! ;)
Love ya, girl xoxoxo You're doing so well!!
Excellent way of addressing this! I randomly lose weight too. Sometimes our bodies just do their own thing. You are awesome just the way you are, beautiful on the inside and out! MWAH!
LOVER! this was such a beautifully said, SO TRUE post! weight changes, fluctuations happen, but i completely agree that the MENTAL side of recovery is the most challenging part -- and you're ROCKING it! i would much rather read about how youre enjoying and living life than how much weight you've gained -- obviously that's important too, but you are MORE than a number and your mental well-being is what is the number one priority (in my opinion!)
just wanted to say how proud i am of you, how amazing this blog is, and how we need to catch up ASAP! xoxoxo
Aww Jenny. You're such a wise one. xoxox
I totally agree with this post babe! I feel like I don't really talk a lot about my recovery specifically, but I DO try to show how much fuller my life is now by showing pictures and things like that. I think that you are sooo right about recovery NOT being only about weight gain. Yes, that is the surface, but there is sooo much more under there to get through and discover about yourself before you can truly say that you are recovered. Just you knowing that means that you are in such a great place right now and I am so proud of you!
Love you tons dear <333
Oh my Jenny...u made my jaw drop for a while. u're such an amazing girl and blogger. I read your posts..most of it, if not all the time. and u know what...I love ur sincerity in everu post. I soo mean it. u're not like other bloggers who sugarcoat everything. u're optimism is real, so it spreads from heart to heart. continue being you. i wish youluck in this recovery. will always be here, as your avid reader..waiting for a new uplifting post from jenny. lemme give u this big HUUGGGG! mwah's.. ;)
I feel the same way! You may have noticed I just stopped talking about it. When I did, I feel like I was still hanging on to my ED. Just shuting it out completely helped me so much. I also think that recovery is so much more than weight. I have been learning SO much about myself and becoming more comfortable in my body than I have ever been in my life. I am SO PROUD of you Jenny, I have watching you change and grow into an amazingly beautiful woman and I'm so glad I have you as a friend.
Love ya!
xoxo
No matter if you are gaining a little or loosing a little, you ARE recovering- and doing an amazing job. Don't second guess yourself. Theres always ups and downs in life- and that's part of the journey! You don't have to talk about it either, some things a girl needs to keep to herself :)
you are doing a fab. job :)
Jenny! You are so right and let me tell you: the fact that I keep reading your blog so much is BECAUSE OF THAT! You do realise that it's about so much more than weight gain and your positive and optimistic view of things makes me happy everytime I read your blog.
Keep up the good work and the great writing ;)
Love,
Tina
such a great post babe. i think it's great the way that you're taking things and really, to each is own! when i was first recovering i posted some of the same things and stopped because i realized it was much better for my mental health!
you are doing such an awesome job babe and i know you know what is best for yourself, so you stick with that!!!!
Hi Jenny,
I've been reading your posts for a while now, and I just want to say that I love what you write. IT's definitely not important to hear about what EXACTLY is going on with your recovery! Reading about your stories of day to day life is enough to keep me interested!
You're a sweetheart! good luck with whatever recovery you have left, and I can't wait to read more!
xo,
keri
Girl as long as you are happy and healthy that is all that matters <3 You are so amazing and you don't have to tell anyone anything bc ya know what? It's your life and you are doing what you need to do! :) You are such a gorgeous, caring, & thoughtful person. Keep it up girly! You are an inspiration to many. Hope you made lots of dollas today !
I agree with the poster Leslie above... I really think that recovering from anorexia does mean learning to deal with real life. Whether we like to admit it or not, anorexia is extremely isolating. And for someone like myself, that was never a social butterfly, I think that it played a big roll in my eating disorder-- it gave me an excuse to be alone. I really felt like once I started eating again and going out to restaurants, I was getting back into the real world and out of the isolating world that I had created for myself.
Anyways, good luck with your recovery Jenny!
Ahhh, Jenny: I love this post. You are AWESOME. Enough said. I love you, girl!!
Babycakes, I absolutely love this post! Sometimes stuff happens and it's not because you were failing or weren't trying but just because stuff happens. I know that when I get super stressed out my body goes into turbo mode and I drop like that. Not because I changed my eating habits but just becaue that's what my body does. Our bodies are crazayyyy little things and as much as we want to have a lot of control over them sometimes we just cant.
While it was great that you tracked everything in the beginning and were so open andhonest about your progress, there is no problem at all with no longer doing it. Not only were you thinking about protecting yourself but also about protecting others. You knew that it might hit people the wrong way if they thought something was going on and so I commend you for being such a thoughtful and caring person and looking out for every party involved.
All in all, your mental health is number one and trust me, it shines through with so much happiness, love, and positivity! You have come lightyears away from where you were. You are living life and having found that "zest" as you called it. It's about real life and taking on adventure and reveling in the moments, not focusing on this gain or loss or these numbers or whatever.
You've kicked recovery out of the park and you're running the bases baby and doing a darn good job at it! :) love you tons
love your honesty and candidness! continue doing what is best for you, girl. You're health (mental and physical!!) is priority numero uno! have a fantastic saturday!
i love this jenny...i think ppl just wanted to know the physical part so we can help you in everyway with the mental and physical...were here to help you with every part of your truly beautiful rediscovery of yourself..i love you xxxx
Hi...I just found your blog and I just wanted to say it REALLY meant a lot to me. I just started a blog and I have a date tomorrow and all of a sudden I just felt like a fat loser and that I am totally unattractive. Just because I am going out with a stupid boy. I almost didn't blog about it because I didn;t want people to know that i can still be insecure.
But you? You are gorgeous. I will be back!
you are doing marvelously j baby, no worries! i love you so much and admire your drive for recovery.
you're beautiful and have such a good head on your shoulders<3
xo
ME
Fabulous post, Jenny. I am with you 100%. I don't discuss weight in my blog unless I am addressing a very specific issue, but for the most part, I *try* to keep behaviour talk to a minimum and keep it focused on the positive strides I am making. Not because I am hiding stuff or because I am not having rough moments/days, but because I think about that in my own time and I want my blog to be something I can look back on in those very moments and gain some strength from.
I definitely understand where you're coming from and I would say I agree with ya. I love reading your blog-- it's always so positive. Love it!
Have a great day lovie!
<3 jess
xoxo
Hiya! Great post. It really sums everything up well. And really, it is definitely your business to post all of these recovery *details* Although... I'm sure you enjoy posting them when you see fit as well :) I think you are doing a great job! You are so right..it is so much more then just weight. When you focus on losses and gains and etc etc...it becomes an obsession. Knowing that you have gained a healthy zest for life and that you feel great with what you are at right now is all that matters! <3
You post makes sense of something that I don't think a lot of people grasp. It isn't about the short term numbers but the overall journey of recovery. You are doing a great job!
Have a great day!
I love how you keep your blog so positive! Your progress radiates through your hapiness! Much love...
Jenny, you are so right! It's a long journey, and one week loss/gain isn't necessarily a representation of your whole entire progress. You're doing wonderful and have come so amazingly far. Keep up with your positive attitude - it shines through everything!!
Thanks for writing that! I honestly forgot that you are even in recovery.. I never think about you being in recovery while reading your blog! Instead I think "I wonder what Jenny's been up to?" or "Lets see what delicious recipes Jenny has been making?"
I'm so proud of your accomplishments! But don't ever think that we will judge you.. because that's not what we care about! We care about you :D
Fantastic post Jenny! I couldn't agree more - it is so much more than what the scales says....It's all about the on-going journey, living, learning, growing and no scale can ever capture all those mini successes along the way! Keep up the fantastic work girlie - it's all about being persistent!
girlie I think this is a great post!
Your recovery is your business and I think it is great that you are always so positive! I know that you are always trying your hardest to recover and you truly care about becoming healthy!! If you don't want to post about your appts. then don't. Its your own business :) share what you want to :)
I think your recovering shines through in your energy and enthusiasm in each and every entertaining post.
perfectly written beautiful!! you are doing amazing and it can been seen in each of your posts. you have the drive to live happy and healthy and you are doing it!! slips will happen but you keep pushing through them and that is what matters!
hope motha nacha cooperated with you today...love you jen-nay <3
I love this post. You're right, recovery is about so much more than numbers.
I'm new to this community but I absolutely love reading your blog. It is full of your enthusiasm and positive energy. Reading it is like a shot of optimism!
Congrats on all your successes girlie! :)
Aww, girl. This is such a great post, and you're right about recovery! It's not just about how much you weigh, it's also about your mental attitude. It sounds like you're doing great--I always feel that positive energy whenever I read your posts. Keep it up girlie :D
Beautifully said, Jenny! You're doing great, and I totally agree that recovery is so much more than just numbers. You are inspiring!
I really love this point, because it takes the "weight" off of the value we place on STUPID NUMBERS! Some days, we're better than others. All of us, whether or not we consider ourselves "in recovery" it's about embracing all of you! Thanks for your honesty!
TRUST YOURSELF!
Here's a link that gives you a lot of info on the shirataki noodles: http://www.hungry-girl.com/week/weeklydetails.php?isid=1689
My favorite way to make them is just like spaghetti.. with sauce, meatballs, and cheese! The link above tells you how to prepare them :)
what a great post! you are absolutely right! sometimes i find myself obsessing over a 1/2 lb weight loss or 2 lb weight gain and i realize-- as long as im moving forward-- no need to share the info-- it might drive ppl crazy as well as give the wrong impression! well said my love xoxoxox j
ps-- SO proud of you :)
jenny i am so happy to read this. i am just like you. seriously! i never want to post any of the weight gain/lose/maintain thing on my blog because this your own struggle. no one can judge your progress based on your weight. yes it may be an idicator of how healthy your body is but remember we can not control our bodies and neither are they machines that always gain how we want them too. so amen to all the wonderful things you said in this post. and to be honest i am so glad you dont talk about all these things all the time cause i do find it triggering to read someone lost some weight and i might have gained a lot in that week. i know ED would try to beat me up even more. thats one of the reasons why i love this blog even more.
do you want to know why i know you are recovering well? your mood, the tone of your post and the atmosphere on this blog. and all i can say is that i have been getting the feeling that is just gets more and more positive with each day. of course there are some days were its harder. but seeing how your spirit comes out in your psot makes me realize what a wonderful job you are doing at recovery.
love you so much jenny
xx
I love how you gained so many things besides just weight during your journey--hope, friends, and a optimistic outlook--you are truly great! Thanks for addressing my little shout-out =D Have a laaaazy Sunday-I am!
Jenny! You're awesome. Regaining your happiness and zest for life is such an incredible thing. It helps get you through the hardest days :) Love you girl! Take care :)
Love your post about numbers and nutritionists talk and physical body talk. I dont do that anywhere nowadays. Once in a while in my journals post inpatient and of course all the time when i was inpatient, but I think as we cont. in recovery we need those numbers less and less. Really thats all they are numbas, and well i aint no math mathematician so who needs um!
Keep up the positive outlook girlie!!
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